Book Book Book

Dear followers

Things are starting to normalize so you’ll get regular blogs for the next few weeks before I go off to camp and am without internet for three weeks. I am sorry I have been so hit and miss on blogging this year. There really has been a lot going on and there has not been anything that I really wanted to blog about recently.

Part of why I have been so much away from here is I just published a book! Hooray for me. I’m very excited about it, I mean it really is a big accomplishment for me. So, if you like my blog or like me or both (well that last one is basically impossible) then you should totally buy my book “Unacceptable Behavior” by Katrina J Daroff.

You can find it here.

The book is called Unacceptable Behavior and it is available on Amazon and Kindle. It has all of my best stories in it so after you read it you will have no reason to ever talk to me again… I mean you might, if you’re one of the people who like me.

Please enjoy.

Cover Art

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The Problem With My Degree

I majored in English in college and, just check my Facebook page, I’m a writer. That means that I like to think “too hard” about literature and movies and the like. I also care a lot about the logic and symbolism of things. Its a side-effect of studying literature and writing. That means that I am being very serious when I start talking about how thew color/princess pairings of my Disney Princess fruit snacks don’t make logical sense. The colors mean something.

The big problem with this is, I WANT to talk about literary theory but I can’t. Even when I do it over text I can see my friends’ eyes glaze over. No one else is really interested in the interesting readings of things based in Freudian literary theory or the Chinese history class I took in college. And it is to the point that when I spend 10 minutes typing out a long explanation for something using those theories that they don’t even bother to read the explanation and continue defending their low-level reading of it. It is very disappointing and leads me to the simple fact that I just don’t connect well to other people.

When I was young I didn’t connect well to people. Then in college I really felt like I did. It turns out I was just hanging out with the only people in the world who think the same way I think. And the real problem with that is that I then get mad at people for their lower level readings of things. It’s not exactly fair of me but I do. In fact, I get so annoyed about it that I will avoid posting some of my literary commentary on Facebook because I know only the people who are doing and defending that lower reading (and who’s eyes glaze over when I start talking about the other literary theories) are going to comment on it.

This isn’t other people’s fault, it’s mine. I chose to study this thing that no one else seems to care about and then get frustrated when others don’t take a serious interest in it.

So friends, please do me a solid and understand that when I start analyzing film through 8 different literary theories and then talking about it it is because that is what I like to do. I know it is weird but you do weird things too. If it confuses you just let me know, I’ll try to explain it better.

And English major friends, please talk to me more. I need you.

I don’t like to share

Before I start I want to let all of my faithful followers know that I have fixed the problems with the last 2 posts. Posting from a tablet just isn’t the same as posting from a computer.

ANYWAY!

I’ve talked about in the past, mostly in reference to food and books, but it has come to my attention again and I think I need to work through it a little, I am not good at sharing. it’s not just tangible things that I have a hard time sharing either. In fact, its mostly intangible things that I have a really hard time sharing.

I’ve been watching through the whole Avatar franchise again over the last few weeks, it’s just good television, and posting a lot of Avatar cosplay onto my pinterest boards. A friend of mine who I’m going with to Comic Con in September really liked the cosplay and said she wanted to do it. My response was “I won’t let you cosplay as an Avatar character without at least watching the Last Airbender series.” And now she is. I should be happy about this but I’m not. I told her exactly what to look for on Amazon and that I thought she would enjoy it (which she is and I really did think she would enjoy it) I just wasn’t ready to share this thing I love with her, or anyone outside of a really small group of people I was already sharing it with.

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Its not really that I don’t want to share the things that I love but that other people don’t love them in the same way I do and that makes me feel possessive and defensive. I also feel possessive and defensive when they start to obsess MORE than I do. There’s no way that they can actually love it more than me but it looks like they do. It’s stupid but this is something that is really hard for me. I don’t like sharing my intangible things with others.

Why? Someone shared it with me to begin with and there are hundreds of thousands of people who I already share it with. I should not feel this way, especially about sharing something I like with someone I like. Especially when it is all I want to talk about.

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I think it boils down to the fact that I like to be a little bit weird. I like to have my thing that makes me different than others. I roller blade almost every day and when I see someone over the age of 13 rollerblading on the same trail I feel like they are encroaching on MY territory. And I feel the same way about Avatar (it turns out). I feel like it is my special thing that I share with Justin, Dana, and Caitlin and no one else. If someone else loves it too I might lose it. It’s a very complicated emotion and I wish I didn’t feel it.

The sum of it is that I’m sorry if I share something with you then act a little weird about it. I want you to love it I just, also don’t want to share. Sorry.

What else is there?

 

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Here’s a crazy thought, what if instead of fighting for every woman’s right to feel beautiful we were fighting for every woman’s right to feel respected and worthwhile?

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how men seem to think that the things women do are solely to impress or attract men. And also about how people think that there are people who “shouldn’t” wear certain things. Saying that a certain woman “shouldn’t” wear a bikini implies 2 things; 1) that there is someone who should be wearing a bikini and 2) that the person who is wearing that bikini is doing it because they want people to look at them. Maybe said person is wearing a bikini because it’s too hot out for real clothing and it’s super frustrating trying to go use the bathroom in a one piece (honestly that is the only reason I wear a two piece swimsuit) and maybe, just maybe, they don’t care if you are enjoying the view.

I’ll go back to the beginning of the story before we go too far down the rabbit hole.

The other day at work one of my coworkers came into the “office” where I work and started telling a story about how a woman who lives near him was mowing her lawn in a bikini.

“Oh I do that,” I interrupted, “I figure, if I have to be doing yard work when it is more than 80 degrees I might as well be comfortable.”

I think that made him a little uncomfortable but he brushed past it. “Anyway this woman should not have been wearing a bikini, you know what I mean.”

To my shame I did not correct him or explain how much I hate that way of *thin*king but I should have because I have been dwelling on what that phrasing means for the last few days. My coworker did not mean anything by it, he was just telling a funny story about him and his son, it just shows something that I consider wrong about our society.

Here’s the thing, if a cute thin girl mows the lawn in a sports bra or bikini no one really gets upset and if a thin cute girl dances like an idiot its cute. BUT if a person who does not fit into our teeny tiny box of what is attractive does either if those things they become the butt of our jokes. It is not okay. It’s not okay that we act as though “unattractive” people don’t deserve respect. If someone wants to wear a bikini or a short skirt they should do that. Why the hell not? If that is how you are comfortable or how you like the way you look then do it! People who think a person “shouldn’t” wear something don’t have to look.

Men are the worst about this particular thing because, I am sorry to say, they have been taught to believe that being attractive is what women owe to the world and that the things women do are for their enjoyment (and I know, not all men believe that but enough do that its a problem). When I wear my shorts and tank top or a crop top in the summer it isn’t because I’m showing off my body and want to be looked at (it really isn’t honestly most of the time I wish no one could see me so I don’t have to talk to them. I also believe that my sunglasses makes me invisible and I never take them off during the summer) it is because it is hot and I don’t function when its over 85 degrees. So when a woman wears something that a man thinks makes them look unattractive they suddenly shouldn’t wear that.  That’s stupid.

So here’s my thought, maybe if you don’t like the way someone looks don’t look and respect them enough to understand that they aren’t wearing that for you but four them. Maybe if we respect everyone like they are people we won’t have to fight for every girl’s right to feel beautiful because beauty won’t be all that matters to us.

That’s it, that’s all I have to say on the subject.

Sorry, this isn’t the blog I had planned on posting today but I do think it was the one that wanted to be written today. Tune in sometime this next week for my commentary on Avatar: Last Airbender. Also I am sorry that the link to my last article wasn’t working, I’m going to try to fix it.