Here’s a crazy thought, what if instead of fighting for every woman’s right to feel beautiful we were fighting for every woman’s right to feel respected and worthwhile?
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how men seem to think that the things women do are solely to impress or attract men. And also about how people think that there are people who “shouldn’t” wear certain things. Saying that a certain woman “shouldn’t” wear a bikini implies 2 things; 1) that there is someone who should be wearing a bikini and 2) that the person who is wearing that bikini is doing it because they want people to look at them. Maybe said person is wearing a bikini because it’s too hot out for real clothing and it’s super frustrating trying to go use the bathroom in a one piece (honestly that is the only reason I wear a two piece swimsuit) and maybe, just maybe, they don’t care if you are enjoying the view.
I’ll go back to the beginning of the story before we go too far down the rabbit hole.
The other day at work one of my coworkers came into the “office” where I work and started telling a story about how a woman who lives near him was mowing her lawn in a bikini.
“Oh I do that,” I interrupted, “I figure, if I have to be doing yard work when it is more than 80 degrees I might as well be comfortable.”
I think that made him a little uncomfortable but he brushed past it. “Anyway this woman should not have been wearing a bikini, you know what I mean.”
To my shame I did not correct him or explain how much I hate that way of *thin*king but I should have because I have been dwelling on what that phrasing means for the last few days. My coworker did not mean anything by it, he was just telling a funny story about him and his son, it just shows something that I consider wrong about our society.
Here’s the thing, if a cute thin girl mows the lawn in a sports bra or bikini no one really gets upset and if a thin cute girl dances like an idiot its cute. BUT if a person who does not fit into our teeny tiny box of what is attractive does either if those things they become the butt of our jokes. It is not okay. It’s not okay that we act as though “unattractive” people don’t deserve respect. If someone wants to wear a bikini or a short skirt they should do that. Why the hell not? If that is how you are comfortable or how you like the way you look then do it! People who think a person “shouldn’t” wear something don’t have to look.
Men are the worst about this particular thing because, I am sorry to say, they have been taught to believe that being attractive is what women owe to the world and that the things women do are for their enjoyment (and I know, not all men believe that but enough do that its a problem). When I wear my shorts and tank top or a crop top in the summer it isn’t because I’m showing off my body and want to be looked at (it really isn’t honestly most of the time I wish no one could see me so I don’t have to talk to them. I also believe that my sunglasses makes me invisible and I never take them off during the summer) it is because it is hot and I don’t function when its over 85 degrees. So when a woman wears something that a man thinks makes them look unattractive they suddenly shouldn’t wear that. That’s stupid.
So here’s my thought, maybe if you don’t like the way someone looks don’t look and respect them enough to understand that they aren’t wearing that for you but four them. Maybe if we respect everyone like they are people we won’t have to fight for every girl’s right to feel beautiful because beauty won’t be all that matters to us.
That’s it, that’s all I have to say on the subject.
Sorry, this isn’t the blog I had planned on posting today but I do think it was the one that wanted to be written today. Tune in sometime this next week for my commentary on Avatar: Last Airbender. Also I am sorry that the link to my last article wasn’t working, I’m going to try to fix it.