There is nothing better than a cheap movie theater. I love going to the discount movie theater in the next town over. I get two people into the movie, get popcorn, and get two drinks for less than ten bucks plus I get to see all of the Marvel movies more times. I go to the discount theater with my best friend quite a lot.
One day back in June Erin and I went to the discount theater. After purchasing our tickets I went up to the snack bar. A teenage boy, who looked as if he should have been named Chad, was working. I don’t pay a lot of attention to teenage boys, they’re so little, they just need to have their hair ruffled. Instead I pay attention to popcorn. I take my popcorn VERY seriously. I walked up to the counter and said “I would like a large popcorn, a diet coke, and a cherry coke with no ice.”
“You just want the popcorn plain,” Chad asked.
“No. I want salt and as much butter as you can legally put on it.”
“I… I don’t think there is a legal limit on butter.” You can never be too sure.
“In that case I would like ALL the butter you have.” I take my butter very seriously. If I am paying for my popcorn I would like it to be very buttery and as unhealthy for me as possible. Chad judged me pretty hardcore for a minute.
The woman behind Erin and I chimed in. “I would like that much butter on my popcorn as well.”
“You can’t because I want ALL of the butter they have.”
In that moment, Erin and I have since decided, that boy fell just a little bit in love with me. I was not flirting, I was being myself, I am obnoxious and if I am not funny I don’t know who I am. Erin’s husband listened to the story one day and confirmed what Erin had told me, clearly that boy had fallen in love with me… at least I got a lot of butter on my popcorn, which was what I wanted.