And that’s why I’m not allowed back there.

First of all I would like to pose a question. Would Doctor Who have lasted 50 years if instead of the Doctor he was something mundane. “Who are you?” “I’m… the receptionist.” I don’t think it would have.

Anyway.

The other day I drove from Spokane, Washington to Salt Lake City, Utah. It’s normally a 12 hour drive but I’m reckless and a dragon slayer (those things are generally mutually exclusive) so I made the trip in 10 hours instead. Toward the end of my day (lets say hour  7) I had to stop for gas. It was snowing, I was grumpy and cold, and I had been driving for a long time (definitely the unhappy part of my blogging experience). So I pulled into the Exxon and did my best to set up to buy gas as quickly as possible. I put the pump in my gas tank and selected my grade of fuel and then an exasperated voice came over the intercom.

“Would the young lady at pump 3 please select their form of payment before continuing to mess with the pump.”

I never select my form of payment before selecting my grade and setting up because there have been occasions when gas stations have then forced me to buy premium instead of what I want. Don’t come between me and doing things my way.

Now you should also know that when I travel alone I also travel armed. On this particular drive I had my brothers incredibly large and illegal to carry in downtown Seattle pocket knife in my back pocket. Well I was real irritated and just looking for a little sympathy so I pulled Jamie’s and flipped the blade open above my head (keep in mind I was in Montana and everyone is armed there, even my florist.) the intercom came back on.

“Never mind.”

So I, once again, proved that people treat you better when they believe you are armed (someday I will tell the registered gun owner story but not this day). Of course, then I had to drive to the nearest rest stop to use the bathroom rather than just going inside.

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This is how I make all of my life choices

The reason I have so much trouble clicking the submit button on my grad school applications is because the moment I do, the moment I really say “yeah I’m going to grad school for writing” I’m locked in. At least I will be when I get done paying for it and doing all the work. That will be it. I will have set my feet on a path that leads to professional writer and maybe college professor. Those don’t sound so bad but that will be it for the secret life goals of adventurer, archaeologist, and fighter pilot.

Well… I already got knocked out of the running for fighter pilot because of my glasses but the other ones are still good ideas.

The thing is I want the world to be my oyster. So long as I refuse to make a choice everything remains an option. If I say that I’m going to be a professor I can’t be a dashing rogue anymore. It doesn’t matter that I never was a dashing rogue because right now I have the option to be. So I hold off on pressing submit on the application I spent hours on just in case I change my mind in the next few hours. I don’t want to wake up in 20 years and hate my life because of a choice I made in my twenties.

I waste hours of my life putting off making that final decision. Then I watch the movie “Romancing the Stone” and somehow that puts everything back in perspective.

For those of you who have not seen “Romancing the Stone” it is the heartwarming tale of a pair of sisters love for each other and the things one of them goes through to rescue the other. That was a lie. I just lied to you. While the sister thing is part of it “Romancing the Stone” is actually about a romance novelist goes on an adventure in Columbia to save her sister with the help of a man who takes money from stranded women (not the best Disney Prince ever). The romance novelist and the man then fall in love because its actually a romance novel set to film only better. It’s actually a really good movie. Watch it and you will understand.

That’s when I remember that even if I become a world class romance novelist (how about… no) I still l have the ability to fly to Columbia and rescue my older brother from kidnappers and have adventures. AND I’m going to do it in the kind of outfit that should be worn when traipsing around the jungle because that is how I try to dress every day.

(Actually that is really true. Before I leave the house every day I ask myself; would I be able to have an adventure in the jungle in this outfit and be okay?)

There are other movies that say “hey, it’s okay to do this AND this.”

Indiana Jones is a professor but nobody tells him that he can’t fight Nazis.

Evelyn (from The Mummy) is a librarian but she fights Mummies AND saves the world.

Clara (from Doctor Who) is a nanny and she gets to time travel.

What I’m trying to say is that just because you are locked into a career path or do one particular thing does not mean you cannot be an adventuring rogue as well. Although, your chances of being an adventuring rogue are higher based on your location and career of choice. Also on money.

I know I want to be a writer and I think that being a writing professor would be awesome I just also kind of want to do those other things too.

So the question is… why do I have so much trouble pressing submit?