There is something wrong with our society

I went to the mall yesterday because… reasons (you can’t see that I shrugged but I did because I decided I did not want to explain my whole thought process). While I was there I went into American Eagle. It seemed like a good idea at the time. While I was looking around I noticed something disturbing. Literally every article of clothing I picked up was made in Vietnam, Cambodia, or Malaysia. You would think that a store with the word American in its name would carry things that were made in America but that’s not what I think is wrong with our society.

What is wrong with our society is that when I was in and out of three different airports on Monday I saw several lines that were easily avoidable. The first was in Chicago (which I’m sure you are all happy I did not take a picture of myself and say “here I am in Chicago” while really I was just in the airport). There was a moving sidewalk near my gate in Chicago. Usually I am all for moving sidewalks, they allow me to run to my gate and get there in half the time because the ground was moving too. This particular moving sidewalk had a line at it and the corridor itself was completely empty. 


I had to stand there for a minute just to see what was happening in front of me. “Come on people!” I finally said, “It is not even an incline!”

The same thing happened with the escalator in the Salt Lake airport (at least that was on an incline).

I am not even going to go after the whole healthy living part of this problem with our society. Oh no I want to make an entirely different comment. THERE IS A LINE! IT’S NOT EVEN CONVENIENT ANYMORE!

I never wait in lines that I don’t have to.


Dress for the Job You Want (1) -Barbie





Malibu Barbie

Or really any Barbie but I’m not talking modern and mostly anatomically corrected Barbie I am talking so gorgeous and good at everything it hurts Barbie. When I was a kid I believed Barbie was THE coolest. It was not because Barbie was gorgeous and everybody loved her but because Barbie had everything she could ever want and did everything she could ever want. She had a big gorgeous house and always got to do fun things with her friends. That still sounds pretty great to me.

Now a lot of people go against barbie because “she is a bad role model” but I disagree. I had two Barbies that were Olympic athletes, one that study Killers Whales, one that was a famous horse trainer, and a bunch that did whatever they wanted because they weren’t themed dolls. I really enjoyed the games I played with my Barbies, they were always having adventures. Actually I think that my Barbies were decently responsible for my becoming a writer. 

Here is the third and final thing that I like about Barbie. Barbie got to wear pretty much whatever she wanted without social stigma. Nobody said to Barbie when she walked into a library that she really should not be wearing a crop top and shorts. They also never said anything about her coffee or the amount of pink she wore. I like that about her.

So here is what I was wearing to accomplish my Barbie look.

1) pink sandals (not shown)

2) pink shorts

3) denim crop top

4) white and pink dress shirt, tied at bottom of crop top

5) Sunglasses.

The only problem is I don’t know how to be paid to be Barbie so it really isn’t a job.

Dress for the Job you Want RETURNS… Sort of

Those of you who were with me a year ago will remember my brief but most excellent series “Dress for the job you want.” I stopped doing it for a long list of reasons including not wanting to come up with a cool new outfit everyday and the fact that most of the outfits I wanted to start doing were not, strictly speaking, “jobs” (also I received disciplinary action for wearing my Catwoman costume to work) but don”t worry because a relaunch of it will be coming soon and continue about once a week for an undetermined period of time. You can look forward to a lot of new and exciting career options including Malibu Barbie and Starship Ranger. In addition I will be coupling those jobs with ways in which to have that job and where the inspiration came from. I know you are all as excited as I am.

I don’t give a damn

This morning I went to the library. I don’t have a library card for the local library for two reasons; 1) I don’t plan on living here for too much longer and 2) the only way to save the local library system would be to take a match to the entire thing and start over. That is how bad it is. So why was I at the library? Well my family’s foster kid wanted to get the last book in a series that she has been reading and she has a library card. 

Because it was fairly early in the morning and I had not finished my coffee yet, the one in my nicely sealed travel mug that I have been carrying with me on all my errands, I brought my coffee into the library with me. Now the library has a sign that says “no food or drink allowed” right on the door underneath the library hours but I used to work in a library (meaning I know what the rules actually mean) and my coffee is sealed and I’m not going to wait outside while agent M finds her books so I elected to ignore that particular rule. After all I carry drinks in all the time. I am not about to let a piece of etched glass dictate how I am going to live my life. Nobody bothered me about the coffee. Clearly I’m an adult and I also know that I am more intelligent than the people working at that particular branch of the library (seriously, I’m not even going to be humble about it I’m twice as smart as the smartest person working there). It is okay that I have a sealed coffee with me. 

A few minutes go by and agent M cannot find one of the books she is looking for so I tell her “let’s go ask.” I go up to the help desk and tell the woman sitting there that we are looking for this particular book. She looked it up but was clearly not happy about it and after  finding the book tells us that the book is out but does not offer to order it for agent M. She then looks at me and folds her hands under her chin. “and for future reference, we do not allow food or drink in the library at any time.” 

I gave her my best “nobody puts baby in a corner” look then took a large, drawn out gulp of coffee, “okay.”

What are you going to do? Suspend me? Take away my non-existent library card? Kick me out? I was not going to fight her on it but I was not going to do anything about it either. I got the impression she would have liked me to immediately rush outside with my beverage.

Like I said, I used to work in a library and during that time I would bring the librarians coffee AND sit directly under the “no food or drink” sign drinking my coffee. I know I’m in Utah where coffee is taboo but everyone knows that coffee does not count in any library rule regarding beverages. What, are you afraid I’m going to spill on the books? You know I’m going to take those books in my hand home and when I read them I’m going to be drinking coffee and that coffee will not be sealed. What you think there is no food or drink in my home? You know what else? I’m going to eat over them too so you can relax because I promise you, your precious library is safe from my coffee spills.

I walked back to the shelves with agent M (if you haven’t noticed that’s how I am referring to these foster kids)  and she said to me “they never yelled at you before about your drinks.”

I told her, loudly, “I don’t give a damn what they tell me. That is not the sort of rule I am going to follow.”

… and that is why I’m not allowed back there.

It should also be noted that I was wearing a Batman t-shirt at the time and NO ONE tells Batman what to do.